3 weeks have gone by and it feels like an eternity. I try to work and I try to play, but the sorrow and pain just overwhelm me. Nothing is the same. When I drive, when I take a break at work, when I stare at my little girls faces, I just feel this immense sadness at the cold reality that Blake (BJ) will never be among our presence ever again. How can this be? I just keep replaying my last few days with Blake over and over again in my head. How can a human being tolerate such pain and suffering and knowingly say goodbye to the ones he loved the most? I feel compelled to share these thoughts because they are real and I know I am not alone. None of us are alone. I just really miss him more than words can say. I am grateful that he is not suffering anymore, that thought brings the one ray of sunshine into my each and every day.
Love Steven
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
5 comments:
Your words are amazing and bring me to tears- you have become very good at that! Please know we are thinking about you during this very difficult time. Love- Karyn and Joey
Steve, I am right there with you. I don't go a single day without thinking of Blake. I drift thru the day and while things keep me busy I find myself wishing I could pick up the phone and talk to him. The new normal is just lacking so much and I have so many regrets about how much time he and I got to spend together over the last few years. We got to see each other once between their wedding and when he was in the hospital before the surgery in Madison. Once! I just thought there would be more time.
I love you and the entire family and I wish I could be there to help everyone thru.
Love- Todd
Oh, call my brother back to me! I cannot play alone:
The summer comes with flower and bee,
Where is my brother gone?
from THE CHILD'S FIRST GRIEF by Felicia Dorothea (Browne) Hemans
Our tears are for you, Steve, and for all of us who grieve, as much as they are for Blake. He has taught us a lesson not to be forgotten: cherish your family and friends now -- don't wait until the time you have left together is shortened by something out of your own control.
And Todd, don't worry. Your affection and support for all of us still lives in our hearts, and we know that we live in your heart as well.
Love and warm hugs, Jackie
I wouldn't wish how I have been feeling on anyone but it does bring me great comfort to know that I am not alone. I just keep waiting for this to get easier; I keep waiting for my 2 selves to feel like 1 again. Yet everyday I still find myself floating, mustering up Herculean strength just to accomplish "ordinary" everyday things.
I love you, Steve. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts.
Steve-
We cannot possibly imagine how hard the last few weeks have been. Not a day goes by that we do not think about you and your family. Your words about Blake were beautiful. He was very blessed to have such a strong, loving and special brother.
Love, Tammy, Mike, Zoe and Ryan
Post a Comment