Been a while

To my brother,

Up late night and can't sleep. Reminds me of the nights when we were young and oblivous watching late night Dr. Who. I always thought it such a wacky show, but it was you and me watching. Even at our young age, I appreciated the bonding experience we had watching. Such a passion you had. It has been really difficult lately for me to express my feelings as I easily get wrapped up in my life with the kids, family, and all. I have been thinking about you a lot lately and just miss you more than words can say. You were my big brother in every way and I really do miss that. It really pains me to no end that you are not here to live life and enjoy all the things that you love. You are always my inspiration. The courage and strength you demonstrated at the bleakest hours still remains in my every thoughts.

I realize that I really block out a lot of my emotions, but you are there always. For whatever reason, your presence has been close to me lately, perhaps just because I need it. You continue to inspire me and make me want to be a better person. I only wish I could have the strength and courage that you had as you faced imminate death. You showed what true love was all about. Memories fade, but your love and devotion never will. I miss you soo much every day. You were an amazing person and I am so grateful every day that I know that. You truly defined what life was about. I do my best to live and appreciate every day and I hope that I make you proud. I am so proud to have been such an important part of your life and truly appreciate that you let me know that whenever you could.

I remember one of my last visits with you when you were just laying in bed at the hospital watching tv with such energy and vigor. You had a sense that things were bad, but you never let on. You just asked me about work and my kids and my life. You just kept looking at me periodically just appreciating the our presence together. You even asked me about work and what was going on in my life without any concern about your condition or future. You have no idea how much I appreciate that one on one we had that day. My instincts at the time told me that time was precious and to appreciate the moments we has that day. I will never forget. Your look. Your expressions. Your curiousity. Your Love. Unforgettable.


Love your little bro

Steve