3 Years

8:22 tonight marked 3 years. Where has the time gone. We all took a moment tonight to remember your courage, strength, and love. Dad reminded us tonight that we need to hit the pause button once in a while and take it all in. Look around and see how lucky we are to just be here each day. To have family, friends, and health. It has been a rough road traveled for us the past year. But then I pause, think of you, and then its all ok...

Miss you very much Bro!!!

Steve

2 Years

My brother said it right when he said how surreal it is that you are not here with us. So many times in the last two years I have wanted to pick up the phone and call you and tell you a funny story or just B.S. about some movies, TV, or the fact that I finished a book recently(you know how much of a lazy reader I am). But I can't. While I can always call Lisa or anyone else in your family, it's just not the same. You were one of a kind.

I am comforted by the fact that you did leave such an impression on all the people you knew and loved and that they can understand why we didn't just lose a husband, son, sibling, or friend, but much more. Keep an eye on all of us. As strong as we are and the way we live our lives, it's nice to know there's someone checking in from time to time.

I love you and thank you for being my friend.

Todd

Happy Anniversary (technically yesterday), Blake and Lisa

Hi, Blake!

I thought I'd drop you a note. It's a little after midnight, and I left Lisa a note on Facebook on behalf of my family acknowledging your anniversary. I hope my note and referral to a few pics of you in junior high school helped to make her smile on this special day. I didn't know Lisa very well before you passed, but always had the sense that she was special. The fact that you chose to spend the rest of your life with her speaks to the kind of person she is. After all, I know how special you were (and are) and that is a reflection on her. In any case, know that there are many people who continue to look out for her in your absence, and keep her in our thoughts.

You were my brother's best friend, and I know that there have been times when things were pretty rough for him emotionally since losing you. You were also a part of our family, and though your connection with the rest of the Bergmans was secondary to your relationship with Todd we still miss you very much! In a few short days we'll be marking two years since you left us, and while it's become easier to take there are still very tough moments when it all still seems surreal. Know this ... regardless of how much time passes the vitality and love of life you shared with the world lives on and is never forgotten.

We lost our grandmother earlier this year. She lived to 101! I celebrated her life at her funeral and very few tears flowed, though I loved her with all my heart. For you, though, the tears still flow. I still struggle with the senselessness of your death and wish I could make heads or tails of it. I hope that these thoughts reach you, and that you are able to appreciate and enjoy the love that so many continue to express toward you, wherever you might be.

Love,
Steve

Happy 39th Birthday

Happy Birthday Blake! We are all celebrating you tonight. There are going to be 18 of us hollering and laughing at Olive Garden, just as was the case during our frequent visits to you. I know you can picture the scene. Every around us looking at us like we are crazy and super annoying. I can feel you smiling. Though you have changed all of us for ever, we are still the same crazy family, still doing the same crazy things we have always done. That is what I believe caries us through. We are growing older, but still playful kids at heart trying not to take life to serious at times.

As we grow older and raise our own families, you are still front and center on our stage. It is hard to keep perspective when the kids are screaming and making us crazy, but at the end of many days, I think of you. Suddenly, appreciation for what I have overcomes me, though I don't always show it. A little screaming, a little fighting, bid deal. This is life. You have taught me that. I only wish your were here to share our experiences with us. I speak for myself, my wife, and the kids when I say that we all truly miss you deeply. Love ya.

Been a while

To my brother,

Up late night and can't sleep. Reminds me of the nights when we were young and oblivous watching late night Dr. Who. I always thought it such a wacky show, but it was you and me watching. Even at our young age, I appreciated the bonding experience we had watching. Such a passion you had. It has been really difficult lately for me to express my feelings as I easily get wrapped up in my life with the kids, family, and all. I have been thinking about you a lot lately and just miss you more than words can say. You were my big brother in every way and I really do miss that. It really pains me to no end that you are not here to live life and enjoy all the things that you love. You are always my inspiration. The courage and strength you demonstrated at the bleakest hours still remains in my every thoughts.

I realize that I really block out a lot of my emotions, but you are there always. For whatever reason, your presence has been close to me lately, perhaps just because I need it. You continue to inspire me and make me want to be a better person. I only wish I could have the strength and courage that you had as you faced imminate death. You showed what true love was all about. Memories fade, but your love and devotion never will. I miss you soo much every day. You were an amazing person and I am so grateful every day that I know that. You truly defined what life was about. I do my best to live and appreciate every day and I hope that I make you proud. I am so proud to have been such an important part of your life and truly appreciate that you let me know that whenever you could.

I remember one of my last visits with you when you were just laying in bed at the hospital watching tv with such energy and vigor. You had a sense that things were bad, but you never let on. You just asked me about work and my kids and my life. You just kept looking at me periodically just appreciating the our presence together. You even asked me about work and what was going on in my life without any concern about your condition or future. You have no idea how much I appreciate that one on one we had that day. My instincts at the time told me that time was precious and to appreciate the moments we has that day. I will never forget. Your look. Your expressions. Your curiousity. Your Love. Unforgettable.


Love your little bro

Steve

I have come to the point that I think this blog has done it's purpose. It let many know about Blake and the people who loved him. It will stand as a memorial to him for as long as the system allows. Anyone who would like to continue posting are welcome to do so. He will always be in my heart and while the hurt has faded, I will continue to miss him everyday. Be well all.

Sincerely,

Todd

One Year

Tonight brings us to one year since we said goodbye. Every day since then has been hard and every day going forward he will be missed. Life goes on, but he is always with us as long as we carry him in our hearts. To all of you, the Bergman Family sends their love and hopes this year brings more happiness than sorrow.

Or maybe it was yesterday . . .

How can it be a year since we last saw him, heard him, smiled at him . . . How can it be that time actually passed . . .

A gentleman approached us and expressed sympathy so heartfelt that we asked him whether he had lost a child, too.

"Yes," he replied quietly as he looked down at his shoes. "It was 17 years ago . . . or maybe it was yesterday . . . I can't always tell." And we saw the tears land in the dirt at his feet.

Blake & Lisa Day

Today would have marked 6 years for Blake and Lisa. We all have our special attachment to him, but this was something that he and Lisa had all their own. A bond that is different from being a son or brother or friend. This is their day.

I spoke to Lisa today and she sounded good and we laughed and she got to hear me handle the craziness of 2 children under the age of 6. I hope it made the day a little easier.

Brett's Birthday

Today is Brett's 15th birthday and it makes me realize how fast my kids are growing up and also how Blake will never be there to see them grow up. While I am happy to see my kids growing and maturing, it's depressing to realize someone special to them does not get to be a part of that anymore. I guess my point is we should be grateful for each and everyday we still have with each other and know that somehow/someway Uncle Blake is still a part of our lives. Thanks for all the "sunny" birthdays Blake, I know you are controlling the weather.

Laurie

Fatmans

To all that participated in the fundraiser thank you all. There is no way our goal could have been accomplished without your support.
I believe Blake would be so proud of what we accomplished in his name.

We were able to raise (after expenses) over $45,000.
Therefore, we are able to fund a research grant in Blake's memory through The Sarcoma Foundation of America. As I receive more information about this process I will provide updates.

A very special thank you to Alan & Jackie Cadkin, Steve & Laurie Cadkin, Adam & Debbie Goodhart and Michael & Dina Nanberg, their extremely generous donations helped us to achieve our goal.

Thank you to Gayle and Lew Hirsch for their very generous donations, solicitation of prizes and for helping to wrap all the raffle and silent auction prizes

Thank you to Jackie Cadkin who helped me to organize and number each and every raffle and silent auction item, then correspond them each into a log book and then coordinate names and numbers with who won each individual item. The log book was enormous in helping me to keep all prizes organized.

Thank you to Laurie Cadkin for all her help in soliciting donations, printing invitations and collecting donations. Speaking to her on a daily basis helped me to cope with the whole process

Thank you to Jacqueline Hirsch who donated numerous wonderful tickets for purchase at the silent auction.

Thank you to Elizabeth Hirsch for helping me to solicit donations.

To my husband Steve Newland who had to live with me and listen to me during the entire process, he deserves a medal, he knows I can complain!!!! Steve was always behind my efforts and let me use his office and supplies for all the printing and xeroxing I needed to do.
So thank you to him too.

To my brother Steven, you were my inspiration, whether you know that or not. I felt you needed to do the fundraiser so at times when I was overwhelmed, wanted to quit or push it back, I knew you wanted to persevere, so I did. You inspired me to do something great and positive with my time and you were always there for me. I love you and would do anything for you.

If I left anyone out, forgive me, I do appreciate everything everyone did to make the fundraiser a success

It has been a almost a year since Blake passed away and at some point during every single day certain memories come back to me and they are just as painful. I now have the memory of taking action against the horrible disease that took his life and while it does not make things better, it makes me proud to try and prevent it from happening to others. I hope it does the same for all of you as well.

It does not matter how big or small the things we do, but the fact that we do them at all and try to make the world a better place. Thank you Blake for showing us a way to do so.

Your sister, Laurie

Thank you, B.J.

I was going to send this as an email to all of the people who helped put together the fundraiser but then I realized this would be the perfect forum.

Hello everyone,

I sent a “Thank You” card to Gibsons with a handwritten note and I thought I’d share it with all of you (luckily - I’ll spare you my handwriting). Also I want to thank each and every person for their hard work, the event was obviously a tremendous success and I am proud I was a part of it. I especially want to thank Laurie N. and Stevie; you two were the driving force of this fundraiser and I just can’t thank you enough. It’s undeniable that Laurie’s goal, which we all share with her, of some good coming out of this tragedy has been achieved. It brings me pride, happiness and many other emotions that a research grant will be named after BJ. I know he'd love it. I know it and not just because the grant will be named after him, although that is nice too, but for the fact that we are in action, making a difference and helping people. Now there's the pepperoni on the pizza!

Furthermore, I want to thank you because this event helped me personally. I still find my emotions are just below the surface and quick to appear, I don’t know if this is going to be for some time to come or if it is permanent- que sera, sera. My point is because of all of you I was able to experience BJ’s first birthday without him with joy, peace and love.

This note started as an email to my family, now that it's on BJ's blog I have a bit more I'd like to communicate. From the bottom of my heart, I thank every individual who came to the fundraiser, donated goods/ services or in any way supports the people I love. The strength, generosity and kindness so many individuals have shared has been absolutely awe inspiring. From our oldest friends to Katie and Debbie, who tragically lost their sister to this disease and immediately choose to attend the fundraiser once they read about it on The Sarcoma Foundation of America site, THANK YOU.

To whom it may concern:

My family and I have been going to Gibsons (Chicago and Rosemont) for as long as I can remember. The consistency in spectacular food and service truly keep us coming back for more but I know your organization doesn't stop there. On September 6th, my brothers and sisters and I held a fundraiser for The Sarcoma Foundation of America and through generous donors such as Gibsons, we were able to raise over $45,000. Thank you very much for your contribution to a cause that is so near and dear to my heart (my brother passed away from this disease last year; he would have been 38 years old on September 6th ).

I’d also like to take this opportunity to specifically acknowledge Liz Dade and Jeanie O’Grady. These women exude the perfect combination of professionalism and warmth I have come to associate with Gibsons. My father and I regularly have lunch together, this is our special time, and for the past few years we have gone exclusively to Gibsons. Why would we go anywhere else? We only want the best.

Again, thank you for your donation and for being a restaurant I look forward to patronizing for many years to come.

Sincerely,

Elizabeth Hirsch

P.S. This was not part of the card but for all of you, Jeanie is the waitress Lewie and I always request and Liz Dade has been a hostess there for years who is the epitome of class. Also, I know the final amount raised will be above $45,000 but I wanted to send a "thank you" quickly after the event so I used that estimate.

Lastly thank you, BJ, for everything you did and all of the gifts you continue to give. Although the boy next door, who was in the same grade as I and truly just a friend, may not have appreciated you picking him up by the scruff of the neck when you found us on the third floor of our house.... I knew, as I watched his feet dangle helplessly, you were simply being my awesome (dare I say protective) big brother.

I love you all so, so much!

Xoxo

Lizzy

Blake's Brithday

I apologize for the lack of posts in recent months. I have been lazy about my personal blog, but it has been more difficult to post here considering the mounting sadness I feel.

September 6th marked the first birthday since Blake left us. For those of you who were not aware of this, it was also the night of the fundraiser in his name. The Cadkin/Hirsch clan put on a wonderful event and it was great to see faces both old and new. The night was filled with memories and laughter and the kind of fun that Blake would have enjoyed. Sorry you couldn't be with us brother.

To Lisa, Gail, Alan, Jackie, Lew, Laurie, Steven, Jacqueline, Steve, Gordon, Liz, and all of the families and friends who attended that evening and who sent donations, I want to say thank you for making the night a success. Hopefully, this will help others who suffer from this terrible form of cancer to spend more birthdays with the ones they love.

A Poem I found

Forgive me if this has been posted before. A friend of mine at work had this pinned up in his cube from when his grandfather died and I thought I would share it.

We little knew that morning,
God was going to call your name.
In life we loved you dearly,
In death we do the same.

It broke our hearts to lose you,
You did not go alone.
For part of us went with you,
The day God called you home.

You left us beautiful memories,
Your love is still our guide.
And though we cannot see you,
You are always by our sides.

Our family chain is broken,
And nothing seems the same.
But as God calls us one by one,
The chain will link again.

A little help from my friend

So...about a week ago last Saturday, I had one of those moments that you always hear about, but most of us rarely experience. I am currently training for a triathlon that I have done the last two years in a row and due to the circumstances of the last year, my training did not kick in solid until about 10 weeks ago. I was out on a 6 mile run and about 4 miles into it I started to feel pretty tired. It was hot and I was working pretty hard. I was starting to feel like walking and typically, when the mind wants to give up, that's when your body begins to give up. Now, I think about Blake everyday. I see a movie I know he would of liked or a song comes on that we used to listen to, but at that moment when I was feeling my worst, I was too busy concentrating on not slowing down. It was strange but as I was going along I felt as if a surge of energy had coursed through me. I wasn't tired anymore, in fact my pace quickened and I sustained it right until the end of my run. Now some people don't believe in this stuff, but I have to say that I truly felt that someone was helping me along. Believe what you want, but I think that Blake, as always, had my back. Along the way I felt my eyes well up a bit and I thanked him. It was truly a special moment. I'm just glad he's still checking in on me.

Visit With Blake

Mothers day has come and gone. I was meeting my mom and some others to visit my brother yesterday, my first time since his passing. It was absolutely surreal. As I drove up to park my car, my mom was standing there alone wheeping over his grave. The sky was overcast, the wind was howling, and these big beautiful trees in the distance behind her were rustling with life. It was a moment I will never forget. I was overcome with sadness. I miss so many things about him that I never gave thought to when he was with us. We all hung out with Blake for about a half hour. It was quite peaceful. No suffering, no pain. Just peace. His presence was no doubt felt by us all. Mothers Day, Fathers Day, no holiday will ever be the same. But I am glad I got to spend some time with Blake, and remember...

Love Steven

My Birthday

So today is my birthday and it is truly bittersweet. My fondest memories of birthdays past is that Blake was one of the first to call me. It hit me hard that I won't be able to speak to him today, but going off of Aidan's view of Blake being in the Sun, he is giving me a specatacular day. I love you brother and I know you are here with me.

Blake, the Foundation, and the Slough

We're getting very close to the Grand Opening of the Interpretive Center at the Six Mile Cypress Slough Preserve in Fort Myers, Florida. Opening ceremonies will start at 10 a.m. on Saturday, April 12.

The Cadkin Foundation is the largest private donor to the construction of this Center. Alan is a charter member of the original committee of seven who decided that it was critical to educate both residents and visitors about environmental issues in southwest Florida. Locating the center at the Slough (say "slew") which is vital to the ecological health of this area was the most practical plan. This committee called itself Friends of the Six Mile Cypress Slough Preserve (often shortened to Friends of the Slough). The Cadkin Foundation donated seed money to start the planning process about seven years ago. Since then, Alan has left the board of directors of the Friends, but Jackie remains a member of the Advisory Board. Aside from being active in the Friends, Alan has just received his 10-year pin as a docent (guide) at the Slough where he takes visitors on 1 1/2 hour guided walks. Jackie has just completed training as a docent and will soon be guiding walks as well.

Because Blake was such an avid reader and self-educator, we felt that supporting the Resource Center at the Slough was a proper tribute to him, and he was very happy when we proposed it to him. The Resource Center will contain a library of books, computer stations, and audiovisual materials to be used initially by Lee County environmentalists, docents, and volunteers. It is our goal to eventually make this center available to the general public, but that will require time and funds. To this end, the Cadkin Foundation has raised over $10,000 from our own donations as well as that of family and friends for The Blake Cadkin Memorial Fund which will be used solely to support the Blake Cadkin Memorial Resource Center. Each item in the Resource Center will have a golden sticker stating that this material was provided by the Blake Cadkin Memorial Fund.

An additional honor within our family comes in the form of the logo for the Friends of the Slough which was created and donated by graphic artist Tammi Cripe. (Tammi is married to Joe Cripe, Jackie's son.) This logo has been described as brilliant, and has provided nearly instant "brand recognition" for the Friends. At the Grand Opening, a representation of the logo with tribute to Tammi as creator and donor will also be presented and permanently displayed at the Interpretive Center.

On Saturday, April 12, at 10 a.m., the Interpretive Center at the Six-Mile Cypress Slough Preserve will officially open. It will be an emotional occasion for the Cadkin clan, and we invite you to join us.

We can provide you with info about nice facilities which are available very near the airport, the Slough, and us.

Part of the Sun

Sorry i have been absent for so long. I assure you Blake has not left my thoughts a single day. I miss him terribly and sometimes the weight presses so hard I can't breath. However, my son Aidan said something to me recently that was so amazing and I thought I would share it.

He told me that because Blake died he is part of the sun. I thought this was a beautiful thought because it means everyday that the sun shines on our face that Blake and any other person we have lost is touching us and filling us with warmth. Kids are so amazing.

Pizza Pizza Pizza

I love pizza. I have tried to deny this, but I can't. It tastes so good.

It makes me happy. Comfort food. Puts a smile on my face.

Pepperoni ooh so colorful and pretty. Yummy to my tummy.

They say it is not good for your health. I beg to differ.

What can be so bad about something so simple.

A smile, a memory, a childhood delight.

I love pizza. Oh yea, so did my brother Blake.

Is life complicated. I think not.

Take a break. Eat pizza. Savor each bite.

You never know. You might enjoy it.

Watching Blake eat his last bites,

you could have sworn, life couldn't have been more right.